. first and foremost I'm looking for a woman with a great sense of humor life is stressful enough when were together the rest of the world should just take a back seat for a bit..I'm short ,fat, bald, toothless ,I smell bad, I have one eye and I have to wear a patch over that. I live in a cardboard box in a nice quiet neighborhood. Now after hearing that you know you can't resist me . Now if you find this profile offensive... you're not the per I'm looking for. And we'll see if you actually read the profiles. I like a woman who has a great sense of humor and a little bit of sarcasm to her.

My Ideal Person Someone who first and foremost has a great sense of humor a little bit of sarcasm to them also goes a long way. I'm looking for someone honest and caring. Someone who is not stuck up on themselves. There are lots of beautiful women on this site but just because you're beautiful on the outside... doesn't always mean you're beautiful on the inside. And unfortunately I Can't Turn You Inside Out... LOL